Firstly, I’d like to dedicate this post to three girls, as without their reckless antics to accompany my own, this post would not have been possible - they know exactly who they are! They say bad things happen in threes.. or in our case, thirty threes perhaps?
Secondly, this is for the reader who believes luck is never on their side, that they are the only ones that seem to endure a number of misfortunes one after the other. I’d like to take this opportunity and state that we too, seem to be equally unlucky charms.
It’s that time of year for us where 21 is becoming the new 18, the connotation being much more mature, level headed and all in all less dramatic individuals! So when an invitation to visit Oxford Brooks alongside a night out in Leeds celebrating the coming of age for a certain someone, I thought, why not!?
You know you’ve had an eventful four days when a road trip up north finds you asking policeman for directions, taxi drivers for jump leads and kebab men for more mayo.
For those patient enough to read below, let me talk you through it.
Friday 22nd October
2.15pm.
Board the train. The silent carriage. Struggle to find ‘reserved seating.’ Continue to cause disruption when shouting out a word you probably shouldn’t when in the company of a three year old. Note to self, ‘do not drop the ipod.’
3.45pm.
Arrive at destination, just. After settling into the world of the now safe ipod, become oblivious to the sign ‘Welcome to Oxford.’ A mere chance glance out the window prevents ending up in Manchester. Meet and greet Louise and her fabulous housemates.
5pm.
Birthday dinner at Atomic Burger. Best burger bar by far. However, pleased not to have ordered ‘Godzilla Burger,’ a challenge previously only succeeded by a number of thirty. After a small taste it becomes clear why. NOONES taste buds should have to experience that amount of burning in one sitting. Bravo boys.
11pm.
On it Oxford style. Refreshing game of Goon Pong and naked apron sittings, followed by a hectic night out at ‘Kukui.’ Stamp rape is just the beginning.. drinks all round!
Saturday 23rd October
9pm.
Hangovers all round. Not feeling too spritely as the alarm makes its debut. Pack, load and off to Leeds. Roadtrip!
1pm.
Set off time. Alcohol? Check. Heels? Check. Sat-nav/map? “Urghhhh!” Half an hour in, stop for directions. Should have predicated going back on ourselves for the duration of 40 minutes. Seeing on a map just how far there is to go is no mood lifter.
5.30pm.
Arrive outside ‘house on corner, black door.’ Desperate for the loo, no one home, the evitable happens. Bush? Check. Wrong house. Shit. Fiiiinally meet and greet Tasha and her fabulous housemates.
8pm.
Lotsss of pre-drinking. Strip-tease for the birthday girl.. and any other prying eyes. Its no surprise a room of eight soared to a guestimated thirty. Queue Louise, spilt vino, and a glass table - what do you get? Enough shattered glass to clear the room. Back to the original eight.
12pm.
‘Faversham’ Leeds with more alcohol and music. Dancing and bambi legs. Chicken burger with “MORE MAYO.” Bed. Awesome!
Sunday 24th October
12pm.
In the car. Off to compose the birthday girls present. Phonecall from the girl in question. “We’ve broken down.” We bought more time – lots more time in fact. Battery fails when the time comes to leave the car park we adopted for such creativity to commence. Hero’s would include taxi driver x2, jump leads, and some pushing power.
2pm.
Arrive back at house, eager to see the girl we had travelled so far to see. Queue Georgia, my wrist and the car door. Back in the car - A&E it is. Unfortunately none of the five medics living in the house were in.
3pm.
Refused the hideous wait presented on arrival at accident and emergency. Once more back to the house to present another part of the present. Already on Tasha’s wrist. Exchange it is then.
10pm.
After curry, Michael McIntyre and goodbyes, back in the car for the ride back to Oxford. Longggg ride back to Oxford. Lost again, petrol station, map, directions.
Monday 25th October.
2am.
Journey complete.
And that’s about it. Ohhh apart from walking into a hanging carcass at the Oxford market the following day. I’m proud to say Monday’s tour of rower’s and the surroundings of the university went rather well. Casual beer by the river, tipsy by lunchtime, standard. More goodbyes, back on the train.. HOME!!
They say bad things happen in threes.. or in our case, thirty threes perhaps? There is no perhaps about it.
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